September 2026
Sermon Transcript
Relationship Advice to Singles
We are here in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. We only read the first nine verses today, but this chapter has a lot of different focuses and a lot of relationship advice given to different groups of people. Instead of just preaching one sermon and saying a little bit about each situation, there is just too much information. So in this first sermon from 1 Corinthians 7 we are going to be looking just at relationship advice to singles.
There could be a tendency when there is a very specific sermon to say well, I am married, or I am divorced, or this is not my situation, so this does not apply to me. But any time the word of God is opened it does apply to us. All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable — all scripture for all people. We can learn something from everything in the Bible even if it does not directly apply to us. So I do want you to be attentive even if you are already married and not single, because there is still good advice we can learn here.
With this chapter, his advice to different groups — to the single, to the married, to the widows — is kind of all over the place. So we are going to be looking at various verses through the chapter as opposed to just a steady stream of verses in one section.
There are four points today. Purity. Prepare financially. Prepare for marriage. And serve God.
Point 1: Purity
Starting in verse one, the first point when it comes to relationship advice for singles is purity. You want to go to your marriage altar pure. Stay pure. Do not fornicate. Do not sleep around. Do not live that sort of lifestyle before you are married.
The advice Paul is giving is to stay pure. Verse 1–2: "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." In verse one it talks about a man not touching a woman. Then it mentions fornication in verse two. The Bible is saying to avoid fornication — getting married is actually very helpful to prevent you from going down the road of sleeping with someone you are not married to. But there is a big progression between touching and then fornication. Does that mean touch is simply referring to fornication? No. The Bible would just say fornication in verse one if that was the intent. What I believe the Bible is referring to is something that would be sensual or romantic. And the Bible is saying do not go down that road, because once you start going down that road of getting intimately involved, it can end up leading to something like fornication.
I do not think this is referring to a handshake. A lot of churches have a meet-and-greet time during the service where people go around and shake hands — the Bible is not saying never shake hands with a woman. Different cultures have different customs, whether it is the kiss on the cheek or whatever — that is just customary for that culture. And here in the Philippines, when you go soul-winning you hop on a jeepney and it is super packed, and if the person sitting beside you is of the opposite gender you are going to be touching that person and there is nothing you can do about it. People go on buses or the subway and it is very crowded. That is not what the Bible is referring to here. What the Bible is referring to is do not go down the road of getting intimately involved with someone at all before you are married, because it can lead to worse things.
We all have to draw a line in the sand somewhere, and I think it is better to draw that line very early on, because if you let it go further you might end up crossing into really dangerous territory. Whereas if you have a strict line — say, before you are married you are not kissing at all — even if you accidentally cross that line you still have not crossed into major sins. If you start kissing somebody, start holding hands, do something sensual, start hugging them, it is just going to lead to worse things because God made us with natural desires. And the fact is those things are perfectly fine in the bonds of marriage. But you start going down that road and it could lead to worse and worse things. The Bible says the eye is not satisfied with seeing nor the ear filled with hearing — you always want more. So the fact is if you allow yourself to reach this point, your body and flesh is just going to want more.
I believe in holding a very strict line. Obviously that is very hard to follow, and I would not strongly condemn someone who is past that line or whatever before they are married. But if you let your line be closer to sins such as fornication, you could cross into really bad territory. Not everybody is going to draw the line in the same place, and if you think I am too strict on that, it is what it is — everybody has the right to make their own choices. But for those of us who are married, we know that once you start going down that road of kissing and hugging it just leads to more and more.
Go to 1 Corinthians 10.
1 Corinthians 10:8: "Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand." The Bible says 23,000 were killed in one day. If you go back to that story, there are 24,000 overall that are killed — it is not a contradiction because in one day 23,000 people were wiped out. I am not saying God is going to kill you if you commit fornication before you are married, but it is possible. And at the very least God will judge you and punish you for that sin. This is not a condemnation on people who are already married and did that before, or on people who are single and did that before. But moving forward, you had better stay pure before you are married as a single person. As we saw at the end of 1 Corinthians chapter 6, you sin against your own body when you commit fornication. So it is not just advice from the word of God — it is actually good for your life to stay pure while you are single.
We live in a culture where people might brag about sleeping around or being involved with other people. That is wicked and ungodly. And as a Christian, you will be happier if you just stay pure and do not go down that road. Advice number one — stay pure.
Go back to 1 Corinthians chapter 7.
Verse 36 also speaks about this. "But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry." This is someone that you are at church with, or someone in the community that you know, and there is sort of an understanding that you are going to be together eventually — but you are not yet at the point of being married. And you might say well, I am staying pure, I am doing okay, I can withhold that physical relationship. But the Bible is saying if you are behaving yourself uncomely toward your virgin — meaning now you are starting to really have these desires and you can no longer control yourself — well, you might want to get married at that point.
That is kind of the situation where maybe you grow up and meet somebody at church. They are a godly person. You know them from soul-winning and church attendance. You have an interest in this person, get to know them, and eventually at a young age you decide this is probably the person you are going to marry. But maybe it is too early to get married — maybe you need to get a job and prepare yourself first. So there is this person you are interested in and they feel the same way about you, but now you are getting a little bit older — you are 19, 20, 21 — and you are thinking man, I was planning to wait until I was 23, but now I can not control myself. Well, it is better to get married at that point, according to the Bible.
What about the age? The Bible says if she passed the flower of her age. Obviously we live in a different world than we used to — people are getting married at a later age simply because people are not as prepared, people are going to college, extending their adolescence rather than getting into the workforce. The Bible says if she has reached the flower of her age, referring to a woman reaching puberty. But even though the Bible says you can get married if a woman has reached that point, it should be very obvious that she has reached that point — nothing grey area whatsoever. And look, if a girl has just reached that point, she probably is not yet ready to get married. She probably needs a few more years to mature. The Bible does not have a hard line at this age it is okay to get married. In the past, people got married at 16 or 17 or 18, and I would not necessarily say that is wrong, but given the society we live in today I would not suggest it. I think reaching the age of 20 or thereabouts is a better idea. But I am not going to condemn someone who got married at 18.
I will say this though — this is not a justification for grown men to be dating young girls who have just reached the flower of their age. That is ridiculous and weird. In Muslim culture you will have men who are 45 years old marrying a 14-year-old. And that is bizarre. As you get older, you naturally find people attractive who are closer to your own age. When you are 16 you find girls who are 14, 15, 16, 17 attractive. But then as you reach your mid-20s and mid-30s and your 40s, you start finding people attractive who are a little bit older. I remember going soul-winning at West Virginia University after I had graduated college and I started to just notice that the 19-year-olds looked really young to me. I am not saying it is a condemnation of someone marrying someone younger — that was actually quite common in Bible days for a man to be a bit older — but there is definitely a limit to this.
So relationship advice for singles — stay pure. That is very, very important.
Point 2: Prepare Financially
Go back to 1 Corinthians chapter 7.
Verse 36 also ties into this point. The idea of why you would actually wait to get married is found in verse 37: "Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well." The idea of why you would wait is that once you get married you need to be financially ready and stable. If two people get married at the age of 18 they are not sinning and not doing anything wrong. But quite honestly, they are probably going to have more problems in those early days of marriage versus someone who waits until 25 and has developed a career as a man, is financially responsible, and can take care of a family. You are probably going to be able to get into marriage in a much smoother transition because money is very stressful. This is why in the past you think of Joseph and Mary — they had not yet physically come together even though they were legally married. Why? Probably he was preparing their life, preparing money and the house, for when they were actually married. So when they actually got married they could hit the ground running.
Go to Genesis 3.
In Genesis chapter 3 we have the roles given to men and women after the fall. The Bible is very clear that responsibility comes upon the man to be the provider. In another place the Bible says "if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." As a man, it is our job to be a provider. That might be a reason why you need to prepare financially before getting married because you will need to be the provider. You are going to need money to potentially buy a house and a car. If you can do that before you are married, even better. But at least get your career going at a young age.
Genesis 3:16–19: "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground." The Bible speaks about providing in the sweat of your face. It is going to be difficult and hard until you go back to the ground and die. Life is hard. Life is stressful. Life is not going to be easy. And to be successful you must be a hard worker.
Go to Ruth chapter 2.
The Bible says it is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. At a young age a lot of people start getting interested in people romantically — it is a different age for every person. My philosophy is if you are too young to get married, then you are too young to date. Now, you could meet somebody at church where you are younger — 14 years old, obviously not ready to get married — but you are getting to know that person. The church has soul-winning together and fellowship, and there can be an interest developing. I have seen that in church where people meet at a young age, and you can see they are talking a lot but they are not hanging out and going on dates together — and then 7 years later they get married. That is a great situation. You are getting to know them at church in a safe environment, not committing any sins, getting to know who they are and seeing that they love God. But a lot of people, once they develop really strong feelings and a physical desire to be with someone, want to start dating and meet the right person. As a man I would ask the question — are you ready to get married? If you met the right person, can you provide for a family? Do you have a career plan? People will do everything under the sun to meet somebody of the opposite gender but they are not ready. They have nothing in their life figured out, they do not know what they are going to do for their career. If you are 16, 17, 18, 19, or 20 and you do not yet have your career figured out, I would say start working super hard and make yourself available and ready to be married, instead of just looking for the right person. Because you might find the right person, but are you really the right person for them to marry? You need to make sure you are working ahead of time. It is not a competition with other people getting married. Prepare yourself financially because you will need to be the provider.
Ruth 2:4–7: "And, behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The Lord be with you. And they answered him, The Lord bless thee. Then said Boaz unto his servant that was set over the reapers, Whose damsel is this? And the servant that was set over the reapers answered and said, It is the Moabitish damsel that came back with Naomi out of the country of Moab... and she came, and hath continued even from the morning until now." Here is an example in Ruth chapter 2 of a woman who is not married and she is working to provide for herself and her mother-in-law. She actually left her family in order to serve God in another country. There are women in this world who are in a situation of living with ungodly family and who cannot serve God, and it would honestly be better to leave that family and work a secular job to provide for themselves in order to be able to serve God. That is not an ideal situation but it is a common one. I am not saying to women — leave your home if your family is unsaved. That is not good advice in most situations. But if you are in a situation where you literally cannot serve God because of your family, you might need to leave.
I believe the best situation for young women is to meet the right person, get married, bear children, and guide the house as the Bible says. But not every woman meets the right person at 18, 19, or 20. If you have a family that can take care of you and is financially stable, you might be in a situation where you are at home, and that is perfectly fine. There are real dangers though in getting a secular job, especially in the world we live in today. The Bible speaks about Dinah seeing the daughters of the land and getting into major sin — she goes off to the world and has ungodly friends. I have seen that happen many times when people work secular jobs. As parents, you might need to be very careful about what jobs you allow your daughters to have while they are living under your roof. There are a lot of advantages in today's world where a woman could work online and not be getting involved with ungodly people, because your friends ought to be people that are saved and love God and largely go to the same church as you. But there are real dangers of working a secular job for a lady.
At some point we need to get our kids to just want to love God on their own. I try to tell my kids this all the time — you have got to decide that you love God. I will not always be there to make you go to church and go soul-winning and read the Bible. You must decide that you love God and want to do what is right.
Go back to 1 Corinthians chapter 7.
Verse 6–9: "But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself am. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." Paul speaks about the benefits of being single. He is saying there are advantages of being single, but if you cannot control yourself, get married.
We talked about men being the providers, but there are also other aspects to marriage to prepare for. Go to Ephesians chapter 5.
As a man getting married, you must be the provider. But you also must be ready to spend time with your family. What that means is when you decide you are getting married, you need to decide inside your heart and mind that a lot of your hobbies and a lot of the things you do in your free time are things you are going to forsake in order to be a devoted husband and father. You must make that decision. There are a lot of things I did when I was single that I do not do now that I am married because I simply do not have the time anymore.
Ephesians 5:25–27: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish." Men need to lay down their lives for their wives, spend time with their families, and care about them more than they care about themselves. That does not mean you give them everything they want, but it does mean you love them, cherish them, and spend a lot of time with them.
Verse 22–24: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." As a wife, you need to be ready to submit to your husband when he tells you to do something or when he says this is what we are going to do. You need to have the mindset that your husband is the leader of your home. You should be practising that at a young age as you submit to your parents and your father. But if you are planning to get married and you have this stubborn and rebellious attitude that you do not want to follow anyone — I do not have to follow some man, I am just as smart as him, I do not have to do what he says — you are going to have a disaster when you actually get married. You need to change now and just do what the Bible says and realise that as the wife, you are meant to follow your husband. That is what the Bible clearly teaches. Unfortunately, women today are learning the exact opposite.
Men and women are different. Men are not better than women. Women are not better than men. But men are better than women at some things, and women are better than men at some things. Men are just stronger and more capable in certain areas. And women are much better at raising and taking care of kids — God designed them that way specifically. The Bible says the man is the leader of the home. Men have the ability to make tough decisions completely logically without letting emotion factor in. Women are more emotional, and that has its advantages and disadvantages. When it comes to leading the home, the Bible says men are the head.
Go to 1 Timothy chapter 5.
For women, I do believe there can be a time where you need to prepare yourself financially as well. Number one, if you are able to save up money before you are married, that is good and can be a big help to your new family. At least do not put yourself in debt. But one of the things you are certainly going to be doing when you are married, if you are following the biblical pattern, is that as a mum you are going to be guiding the house and taking care of the children. You are going to be cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. So get experience at these things before you are married.
1 Timothy 5:14: "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." When the Bible says guiding the house here, yes, part of that is cooking, part of that is cleaning, and a large part is taking care of the kids. When the Bible says believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved and thy house, it is not referring to the door or the wall but to the people in the house. And the same with guiding the house — yes, it is cooking and cleaning, but it is largely taking care of the kids and guiding the children. As a wife, getting married is hard and there are a lot of changes. So why not get experience at these things ahead of time so you do not just enter into a typhoon when you get married?
A lot of people are so anxious to get married but they are not prepared. They end up getting married and they have entered right into a tsunami and it is a disaster from day one. The wife does not know how to do any cleaning, does not know how to do any cooking, and even though they do not have any kids yet it is already a disaster — she has no idea what she is doing so she is frustrated all the time. The man is lazy, has no career, and so they have no money. Marriage is already difficult because you have got two sinners who are going to be around each other 24/7 and you are not always having a good day. You are making it more difficult when you are not prepared.
So if you are single, instead of just focusing so much on meeting the right person, make sure you are ready to get married. And have some wisdom. If you are a man who is single and you have a career, have prepared yourself, are a hard worker, and are a godly person — yeah, you should be looking to meet the right person and get married because you have prepared yourself. But be honest with yourself. If you have no career and are financially not ready, take this advice and work super hard. It might be better to spend two years working incredibly hard and it is going to spare you a lot of problems when you actually do get married.
Point 3: Prepare for Marriage
Going back to 1 Corinthians 7, verses 6 and 8 lead naturally into the question of preparing for marriage. We already covered much of this in the financial preparation section above, but the preparation goes beyond finances.
As a man, you are going to need to be the provider, but you also need to be ready to be a devoted husband and father. A lot of your hobbies and free time activities need to be willingly set aside when you make that commitment. As a woman, you need to prepare your heart to follow your husband, practise submission under your parents, and gain practical skills in cooking, cleaning, and caring for children. My niece just got married a little while ago and before she got married she was just a super hard worker helping with cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. And when a man sees a woman like that, he is thinking — okay, this is the sort of person to marry, because this is a woman who is going to help take care of her home. That is what a good and godly man is looking for. So as a woman, be that good and godly person.
Men — are you ready to get married? Women — are you ready to get married? Both of you should be asking that question before you focus too much on finding the right person.
Point 4: Serve God
One of the great things about being single is you can serve God zealously without the distractions that married people have.
1 Corinthians 7:25–28: "Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you." Verse 28 speaks about how getting married can lead to difficulties in the flesh and problems — you are not going to be able to serve God quite as zealously. But of course if you have that desire, you should get married, which is most people.
Verses 32–35: "But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband."
Let us get a proper understanding of these verses. It is not saying that if you are married, caring about things for your spouse is wrong or that you should just do things for God alone. If you are married you should care to please your husband. You should care to please your wife. That is actually a good thing. It is not saying you do not want to please your wife or your husband. The idea is that when you are married it is like you are going to do things together — going on a holiday, going somewhere, having fun, going on a walk. It is not just soul-winning 24 hours a day 7 days a week. And caring about pleasing your spouse is actually a good thing.
But the Bible is saying that when you are unmarried you can care about pleasing the Lord and be more focused, as long as you are not getting involved in sexual sin. You can really go all out serving God as a single person. You can go on missions trips. You can do extra soul-winning. There are some advantages of being single. Before I was married — about a year before I was married — I was just super zealous in soul-winning. I was going soul-winning for a while, six days a week. I would wake up early to study for my career exams, then work my 40 hours, and then afterwards go soul-winning almost every day. I was super devoted and had almost no free time in my life, and I enjoyed it at the time. But of course it is different now — I have four kids. I do not just spend all my time doing my own things because I want to please my wife, spend time with my kids, and have a good relationship with them. When you are married, caring about pleasing your spouse and spending time as a family is important. But as a single person, you have a unique opportunity to really go after God.
The Bible says in Ecclesiastes: "Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them." Serve God now. Remember God now.
So to summarise the points for singles. Number one — be pure. Very important to be pure until you are married, and I would suggest do not even go close to that line. Number two — prepare financially, especially as a man. Do you have a career? Do you have a plan? Do you have money saved up? Because maybe it takes longer to get married, but once you do get married you can hit the ground running without the added stress of not being prepared financially. Number three — prepare for marriage. Are you prepared for the roles you are going to be fulfilling? Are you ready to take care of kids? Do you know how to change a nappy? If you have the opportunity to help with nieces, nephews, or younger siblings, learn those things ahead of time. Cooking and cleaning — ask your mum if you can help and learn from her. And from other godly women at the church. The aged women may teach the young women, so you can learn certain things from other women at church about being a mum, being a wife, basic advice on cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. Number four — serve God. There are some advantages of being single. I am happy to be married. I am happy to have a family. But I also enjoyed my life when I was single. And look, if you are single and you are thinking I am only going to be happy if I am married, you are not going to be happy when you get married either, because you can learn to be content in any stage of life. Every stage of life has advantages and disadvantages. Not everything is going to be perfect after you get married. Marriage is great — everyone at our churches who is married would say it is a blessing and they are happy to be married and have kids. But it does not mean everything is perfect.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to be here today. I ask you to help us to apply this sermon to our lives. God, we pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.